out in the middle of utah.....
so, i'm not sure if i can do this....this meaning...let go of my last child....she is off on her own...i know she can handle things...she has started college...moved into her apartment...been driving all over to here and back...but, it's those little things....like tonight driving home from park city to provo...she didn't take a turn and before she knew it she was past duchesene.....for all you non utahans....that about 70 miles....that's what makes me nervous.....how do you let your children take wrong turns or not a turn at all? it's soooo hard to let them be...i want to call her every 5 minutes....are you there yet? but, i hold off and wait about 20.....because i'm a worry wart......arrrrrrgh....this could make me crazy...but deep down, i know i have to do it...i've been doing it since i let them go outside and play without me there, walk down the street to the bus stop, go to the mall alone, drive away for the first time alone, and the feeling NEVER changes...so, i can call in about 10 more minutes!!!!
p.s. she made it back....whew!!
I still feel that way. When I hear Gabi has driven to Washington DC by herself I feel the same way I did when she walked around the corner to her friend's house as a five-year-old. It's always easier to hear about the adventures after they happen, than worrying about them before.
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids left home there were no cell phones so I gradually got used to putting my worries outside my mind until I was expecting to hear from them.
So, in other words, all my worries, anxieties and phobias are just going to get WORSE? Great!
ReplyDeleteI remember not too long ago, Marta called me as she was driving home from the airport and asked me which way Provo was! As long as there are kids around there will be worried mothers.
ReplyDeleteOh my hand is on my heart as I read this. Sometimes I think the days of an empty nest will never come, but it sounds like when they do, your heart just has the same worries and loves over longer distances.
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